Michael Jackson

Today Michael Jackson died. I, along with millions of people across the planet, watched in horror/sick interest as the media speculated and then confirmed the death of the self-proclaimed ‘King of pop’.  I even saw a photo of paramedics tyring to revive him – talk about intense coverage.

As the initial shock wore off I began to wonder why I was so sad. Sure I love his music but that’s where it ends. I didn’t know MJ and from what I’ve heard I don’t really want to. If it weren’t for his unrivaled celebrity status he would be in jail right now for child sex offences. The man was an absolute nut case, I’m not talking a little imbalanced I’m talking completely insane (or on to swine flu way before the health authorities).  The world is going crazy (I mean that quite literally) over a 50 year old guy who lives in never never land (again, quite literally) with his unicorns were he has sleepovers with young boys. A guy who refuses to show his porcelain doll wax figure monstrous face in public unless he is dangling one of his children off a hotel balcony. Are we really that sad his gone? really??

 It’s only a matter of time before the elvis’esq conspiracy theories start cropping up so let me be one of the first to put  it out there…

Conspiracy Theory 1:

Perhaps this is all a staged PR stunt for possibly the biggest comeback tour in history (John Farnham eat your heart out). This was actually the first thought that popped into my mind when I was watching it (cynical much?). At the time of his ’death’, MJ was rehursing for a 50 show concert that was scheduled to start in less then two weeks. If he is in the midst of rehearsing for a thriller revival surely he is in some kind of passable physical condition. If fact as I was watching this unfold I heard a comment from one of his back-up dancers stating that the day before his death he gave one of the best performances of his life. hmmmmmmmm

Conspiracy Theory 2:

Perhaps he just got sick of being judged, followed, adored, despised, hassled and abused by paparazzi/fans/child rights advocates/the world and took off to live the simple life on an island off the coast of Mexico.

In my previous post on Jade Goody I wrote about not fully understanding the culture of celebrity. There are a very few celebrities who are truly talented. Talent that can’t be replicated. MJ was one of those very few. When he was great he was phenomenal. The whole MJ affair got me back to thinking about the influence of those 95% of celebrities who are not in that awesomely great minority. Sure most of these people are talented but there are a lot of talented singers/actors/models/would-be-realitytv-stars out there who don’t make it into the spotlight. Point of case – Madonna. I love her. I enjoy her music but I don’t think she has the greatest voice on the planet. I think she has an amazing body but then so would everyone if they had $x-inity to spend on trainers and nutritionists. I think she is pretty-ish but not stunning. Yet despite having nothing phenonimal about her she keeps coming back, keeps reinventing, and keeps making me buy her CD’s.  

Most celebrities are not political comentators yet when they told America to vote, vote they did… in droves. I don’t know why I buy my hair products from Eva Longoria and my foundation from Jessica Alba but I do. People who capture our attention for any extended period of time do so because they tap into the public Psyche. They resonate with us in such a way that we develop a deep trust and companionship with them. We understand them, admire their values, or aspire to be like them. I love that Madonna keeps coming back with something better. I love her  never-say-old determination. Perhaps that’s why I love her so much.

Back to MJ. If this is indeed the end I send my sincerest prayers and wishes to his family (especially his children). However, I am not looking forward to a weeks of newspaper articles, blog posts, tweets and facebook updates saying what a tragedy his passing is to the world.

Jade Goody: Life, Death, and EVERTHING in between (proudly brought to you by OK! magazine)

I’ve been thinking about my stance on the Jade Goody tragedy for the last few days and I have done a couple of 180’s on the issue. I think I have gotten my head around the sociological ethics of it all but you may just have to bear with me if this post is disjointed – I keep swinging.

For those who are lucky enough to reside outside the celebrity-obsessed UK and largely unfamiliar with this girl let me bring you up to speed.

• 2002- Goody is plucked from nowhere as a contestant on the UK version of Big Brother (a quick look at a couple of YouTube vids leads me to believe she was the vulgar loud-mouth universally hated housemate who somehow dodges eviction week after week – think Sarah-Marie from the Aussie version)
• 2002-2006 - Goody capitalises on BB fame, gets an agent, goes on 59653 C-grade celebrity trivia programs, dates footy players and fellow reality TV stars, engages in Lohan/Hilton-esk trashy club antics, pops out a couple of kids, writes autobiography, releases fragrance, punches out elderly citizen
• 2007- Goody participates in celebrity BB where she is accused of being a racist after calling fellow contestant Shilpa Shetty names including Shilpa Fuckawalla and Shilpa Poppadom (call me what you will but aren’t we being slightly oversensitive).
• 2008- For some stupid reason Goody decides to appear on the Indian version of BB – Bigg Boss.  For some moronic reason BB decides to televise a call from Goodys doctor telling her she has cancer.
• 2009- Cancer is pronounced terminal, a second autobiography is released, a couple of one-off television specials air, goody allows her every move (including her wedding to prisoner) to be filmed, OK! magazine release a tribute to Goody, Goody passes away in her sleep.

Not being from the UK I had never heard of Goody until about a month ago. Over the last four weeks her name is popping up everywhere -  web, television, and even some of the major dailies.

Before I go on my rant let me just say that the untimely death of any creature is tragic and my thoughts are with those who knew and loved Goody.

Goody’s life (and death) became a reality paparazzi show based in reality – i’m still trying to figure out just how Goody was able to generate such interest. She doesn’t appear to have any special talents, she isn’t at all well spoken, no sub-human accomplishments to speak of, and she isn’t particularly attractive. There is nothing new to learn about her – we know it all. There is nothing to speculate on – so why the pre-cancer fascination?? I have no idea. If anyone (especially anyone in the UK) can enlighten me please do…

As for the post-cancer facinaiton – a couple of observations over the past year  or so (Ledger, Richardson, Goody) have lead to a few conclusions about death:

1. The opium effect – It makes us positively bias. The bitch who made your high school life hell, the twat that you hated on that reality show, that tool who nailed then bailed… suddenly these people aren’t the root of all evil rather they taught you important lessons and your life is richer for having endured them.
2. A heightened interest - Ask me a week ago: Who is Natasha Richardson? ”ummmmm”, Name for me one movie she has been in? “well there was that one about….nah i got nothing” 
3. The train wreck effect – Dammed if you do, forever curious if you don’t. “What !?Jade Goody passed away yesterday morning” – suddenly im desperately searching YouTube for footage of her final breath.

The only positive I have been able to take out of this whole media circus is the massive amount of awareness that has been generated around cervical cancer - more girls are getting pap smears and even PM Gorden Brown has praised her for her strength and promotion of the issue. Watching her reaction (via YouTube) to receiving the news made me sick to my stomach. Genuine fear. – Horrific and unethical as it was its something all females should see.

Goody learns of cancer on TV

Okay, Negatives…

Yes she died..its tragic, but she had no choice in the matter. She didn’t take a bullet for anyone. She wasn’t a saint – charity workers, CFA volunteers, african children, innocent victims of war. Lets publicise and profile some of these people. Lets increase philanthropic ventures, bushfire prevention awareness, and apartheid aid.

OK! magazine - Gambeling that Goody would die before the release of their next issue: ‘Jade Goody – Official Tribute Issue’. Gamble didn’t pay off. Disgusting - no wonder this magazine has such an appalling reputation.  Clearly they are motivated purely by profit and sales. It is acts like this that make me wish I could be excused from humanity. Ugh